I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
