At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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