i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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