she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
