You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
