never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
