i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
i need some magic done to my vagina
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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