ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
