When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
