party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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