the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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