Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
