Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
