fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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