I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
soo... how was my night?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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