she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
