MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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