yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
