i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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