Only a mothe r could love this liver
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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