North Korea, Best Korea!
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
