I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
