Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
