What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
