You work out of a Hotel?
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
