I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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