You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
