someone get that fucking seahorse.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
