We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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