are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
