similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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