Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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