they need to just BURY HIM!
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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