id be glad to
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
