The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
