Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
