toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
