Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
