I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I just forgot I was standing up.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
