I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
