it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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