Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
