after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
