wrigley field is MILF paradise
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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