So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
how do you play pong handcuffed?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
