We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You made out with two different species that night
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
