I hate your face
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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