I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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