beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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