U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
