you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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