Who did Billy Mays play for?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
