so that wasnt chicken after all
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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